My mom was crying when she said good bye at the airport and she said to me, "At least you will be safe from the war. I will be there in a few days. I love you."
I had a dream about her last night when I was lying on the sand trying to ignore the strident sounds of animals hiding in the jungle. This is crazy because now the plane crashed and we're totally lost and I don't even know if any of the other kids are alive. I haven't seen anybody and I'm really scared. Last night I was so thirsty that I tried drinking the ocean water but it made my stomach hurt. My thoughts are a jumble and I don't know what to do.
This morning when the sun came up it got really hot. I started to explore the island and came to a beautiful turquoise lagoon. The water looked so smooth and silky that I couldn't resist and I jumped into the water. The water enveloped me in it's coolness and since my stomach was grumbling from hunger I tried to catch some of the small fish that were glistening just under the surface. They were too fast for me and by the time I finished, I was so hungry I could devour a whole cow. But all I could find were some red berries that I hoped were not poisonous. I'm beginning to think that this isn't so bad. There are no grown ups to tell me what to do and this could turn out to be a great adventure that I can tell all my friends about when I go back home.
All of a sudden I hear the most amazing sound. It sounds like the bellowing of an angry bull. The birds in the trees are frightened and leave their nests squawking. I listen and in the distance I can hear someone shouting. I start running towards the voice and when I get close enough I see about ten other boys clambering up the sandy ridge of the beach. WOW! There are other kids here from the plane. My body starts to quiver with excitement. We all start jumping around, doing somersaults in the sand, shouting, laughing, falling into a sweaty heap together. Two of the boys are just watching us. One of them is fat, wearing glasses and his school uniform that really looks weird because it's so hot and most of us have taken off our shirts. The other boy is serious but he is smiling and holding a large shell in his hand. He raises the shell to his mouth and blows again and when he does this several more boys come running towards our group out of the bushes.
We spend the next few hours comparing stories about what we did when the plane first crashed.
"I thought we were all going to die and it was really scary," said one of the little boys."
"When the plane crashed, I climbed out the window and my head was bleeding," I said. Then we decided to elect a leader for our group who would be like a president and a boss. I voted for Ralph because he seems fair and doesn't just tell us what to do. Jack seems to be pretty confident and courageous but he seems pretty selfish and just wants to have things his way. I like them both and now that we're all together I think that this will turn out to be a lot of fun.
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What does Simon's death symbolize?
PIGGY'S GLASSES
CONCH
SIGNAL FIRE
THE BEAST
ID
EGO
SUPER EGO
Simon
Simon is a gentle, quiet, generous, compassionate boy who is comforted by being connected to nature. In the middle of the night he wanders off by himself to sleep in a cozy little nest that he discovered in the underbrush. When Jack kills the pig and gives meet to everyone except Piggy, Simon gives Piggy his share. Simon is the only boy who stays with Ralph to help build the huts. He has blonde hair and an open face and you can always tell what he is feeling by his honest expression. He is an in-between boy which means that he is not as young as the littluns but not as big as Piggy, Jack and Ralph.
Ralph
Ralph has fair hair that grows straight and long into his eyes. His skin is brown from the sun and freckles are sprinkled on his nose and cheeks. His body is slender and he is beginning to get muscles from the hard physical work that he does on the island. Outwardly Ralph seems to be a natural leader and very self confident but on the inside, he doubts himself and feels frightened. For instance when Jack and he go hunting for the beast Ralph first says to Jack, "You're the hunter." This means that he wanted Jack to volunteer to go first because he was scared but then he changed his mind because he knew that he had to behave like a leader. Also he needs to be reassured by Piggy that there really are no beasts because he sort of believes that there might be a beast.
Piggy
Piggy is fat and flabby. His white skin has been burned bright red from the scorching sun. Whenever he walks fast his breathing becomes loud and raspy from his asthma. It's hard to see his eyes because the glass in his specs reflect the light from the sun. Sometimes Piggy can be overbearing and annoying because he thinks he's smarter than everyone else. Other times he's pathetic because when nobody listens to him he gets whiny. Piggy is very nurturing and protects the littluns. When the littluns are afraid to speak at the meeting, Piggy bends down, listens to them, and then tells the group what they said. Piggy is afraid of Jack and knows that as long as Ralph remains the chief he will be protected from Jack.
Jack
Jack is slender but he is very muscular and strong. He is like a panther, nimble and swift in his movements. When he walks through the jungle it's like he has an animal instinct about his surroundings. Whereas the other boys stumble and have to watch their footing, Jack never has to look down. He creeps through the underbrush as easily as walking down a city street. Jack's appearance has changed the most from the beginning because he looks more and more like a savage. His body is splattered with mud and clay and his shorts are tattered and hanging off his body. Jack is aggressive and unreasonable. He thinks that Ralph's plans for organization and survival are ridiculous and unnecessary. He believes that all they need to do to survive is to hunt. He is obsessed with hunting and he is irresponsible about the rest of the group. He doesn't think of anybody except for himself and he enjoys being solitary and hunting pigs alone. He always ridicules Piggy, calling him stupid and he always argues with Ralph.
5 comments:
Wizard! Beginning the story with a heartwrenching farewell was a powerful hook. I enjoyed the flow of your journal. I perfectly envision your journey from the airport to your day on the island. Fabulous job with the vocab!
REVISION ASSIGNMENT: Look at the following excerpts from your journal. Please add two sentences showing further description for each example.
1. This morning when the sun came up it got really hot. I started to explore the island and came to a beautiful turquoise lagoon
2. We spend the next few hours comparing stories about what we did when the plane first crashed. (dialogue?)
Dear Mr. Shaddox,
I made the changes you asked for.
Kira
Kira,
I really enjoyed how you used people talking to start off your blog. i also like how you wrote from the kids perspective, as if it was a conversation! it was very enjoyable.
your class-mate,
Nikki
Great Job! The first paragraph of your journal was an interesting twist to the plot. Adding in the "war" lured me into your entry.
Now, the worst part of a helpful comment is the constructive criticism, so here it goes:
I don't know if it is me but I didn't see all 12 vocab words on your blog.
At the end I wanted more, and usually this is good but I wanted a lot more. Maybe saying something about what happens afterwards will make it more filling.
Aside from those few little things, I really liked the thought of detail such as swimming = hunger. Great job and to let you know, it was really hard to find something negative to say!
-Kira
I love that you started out in the airport with his mom. It may seem like a small detail but by adding that bit it makes you so much more connected to the charater. It makes you realize what he is loosing and feel sorry for him. You also explain his feelings through his thoughts. You don't need a narater just the character. I really wish that the real book started out in the air port. It would make you know the boys better. But I'm sorry to say I HAVE TO say some "helpful comments" so don't take it personaly. I just have to add that this charater that I became so attached to in this journal writes name? I think if there was a metioning of it, it would go with how you wrote it really nicely. Unless of course it is supposed to be a mystery. The way you used the words seems to be correct, but there is a part when you mention animals making a strident sound, that must have been some loud animals, no wonder he couldn't sleep well :)
Well good job, from Leyla
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